Something I learned

 I have been divorced now for almost 5 years and I can honestly say it has been the most peaceful time of my life even through the ups and downs.  But what I wanted to share most is what I have learned from a friend who is a therapist.  We were talking recently I have learned to value her advice so much. 

She has taught me, and I hope this helps you, that we all live in our own "space" or "bubble" as she calls it.  We as adults are solely responsible for our own bubble.  No one else is responsible for it, not even your spouse.  So when your bubble is in unrest with unhappiness, anger, bitterness or anything that isn't peace or rest then you as an adult are required to make a change.  So that is what I did when my bubble was not where it needed to be.  

Through divorce I have found joy, life, peace, rest, happiness, abundance etc ... And I have learned even when life has its ups and downs that it is me who is responsible to fix my bubble.  But the most important thing she said is when others project their emotional issues on you because their bubble isn't at peace (example they may project hate, anger, dislike, jealousy or any emotion) into your bubble to disrupt your bubble, it is on you to SET UP BOUNDARIES.  You must let them know that you will not be accepting their projections.  Maybe someone doesn't like something you are doing in your life... that is their bubble in unrest even though your bubble is at peace.  So they project their unrest into your bubble but we are to stop those projections.  NEVER allow a projection to disturb your peace.  

This has changed how I look at others.  I see their unrest as issues they are not dealing with in a mature adult way so they project it on you so you will stop making them "feel" unhappy with what they SEE,  when they are responsible for their bubble.  Just because someone sees something they don't like, doesn't mean you are required to change to make their bubble at peace.  Once again they are responsible for their own space.  

99% of the time it's not you they really have a problem with, it is just their own internal unhappiness.  

Set boundaries. Walk forward.  Stand firm and discipline those who know no boundaries like you would a child.  And let them know there are consequences to their actions.  Then follow through.   

By keeping your bubble from others harmful attacks you will keep your own bubble at peace.  🩷